Giveaway on Lisa Leanord's blog.

There is something really sweet about weddings. They bring everyone joy and can bring families together and heal old wounds. It is a beautiful tradition and one that i hope will never become obsolete.

This week Lisa Leonard is doing a wedding week on her blog. She has some gorgeous ideas and beautiful pictures to peruse. Go take a look and while you are there enter into her giveaway for one of FIVE my treasure necklaces.

God bless for all those preparing for weddings in the next year!

I am woman hear me ROAR!

My daddy taught me how.

I am a girl who can take care of herself and does. I take pride in what I know how to do and I want to learn what I cannot. I am overly independent and i like it that way.

I do things my way. For example, last night my roommate was cleaning the bathroom and broke our toilet seat. Today at lunch i went a bought a new one, went home, cleaned the toilet, and proceeded to replace the seat all while in a skirt. I know its a simple and any man (and many women) reading this is rolling his eyes because he knows simple such a task is. But it is still a moment of pride for me.

Being independent and not having to call the boyfriend or father to fix something for me makes me happy. I like to fix and tinker but rarely get the opportunity. I love the opportunity to pull out my tools box, which is NOT PINK, and do things for myself. I can do these things on my own.

But then again I did read the instructions.

Being a big girl...

People always say, be the bigger person, be the adult. Take the high road.

Sometimes I am sick and tired of being the bigger person. I am sick and tired of having to take on more than what I feel I can handle. Sometimes i just want to get down and dirty, make the low blows and not deal with the consequences. And that sometimes is now.

Sadly I was raised knowing that is not acceptable. My conscience won't let me go down that path. I know right from wrong, I know where God stands on the issue and in that knowledge, as hard as it is, I cannot turn my back on Him and do what would feel good for the moment.

Please pray for me as I try to become the person God wants me to be.

Expectaions

Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe i shouldn't have any and then i wouldn't be let down. Then again, I don't agree with that. I watched a kind of terrible movie a few months ago but the moral was true. We have to have expectations and we are supposed to work on living up to them because if not we ware a lazy society where everything is good enough.

I don't want good enough, I want spectacular.

I need to hope that there is something more and better and that it can be reached. I need to believe that. I need to hope for peace and joy. I need to love more and hold onto less.

I wish it were as easy as it sounds.

You are worth the Wait

Excerpt from Sarah Markley's blog post today.

Remember today that you cost a lot. In fact, you’ve been anticipated. You’ve been expected and asked for. You have been sought after. Christ gave His life for you and it was very costly. It cost Him everything. But it was worth it.

He has waited for you, tip-toed to watch you and paid all that He had for you.

And because He’s done that, He has given you unspeakable value and worth. He will never be bored with the beauty that is you.

You, my friend, are worth waiting for.

On my own, Even less in control over my life.

So I have moved out of my house and landed a full time position at the job I love! God has given me everything i have asked for in spades. I have been blessed with an amazing love and just as amazing friends. We are all moving though different experiences in our life but we are all there to support each other in the good and bad in our lives. I am lokoing at my relationship with God and knowing I need guidance and instead of just shrugging it off I am taking the initiative to do something about it-this is growth.

Life couldn't get any better. Or could it?
I am fighting with my boyfriend's brother and girlfriend and even if i now know that a resolution will not come until they are ready to deal with us and that the lack of a resolution is not my fault- its hard to let go and let God.
Its hard knowing that there is a situation that needs repair and there is nothing i can do about it - that its not my place to even try. Sometimes all we can do is pray.

As simple as that seems as an answer it is the hardest one to act on. It feels like I are doing nothing when really I am doing everything that is important. It sometimes seems like I don't know where to start or what do ask for or thank Him for. Everything seems a little vague. Maybe sometimes all He wants is us to contemplate this in is presence, to sit there and simply adore all that He is and He had done.

I think i jut need some time with him. Uninterrupted, no time lines. I need to learn to listen.

What am I afraid of?

I am afraid of not being myself. I know that sounds funny but i am afraid that i will change to make someone else's life easier. I try to stand for what i believe in -even when its not the popular answer-but still feel like i have to cave to please those around me.

These last weeks have made me feel like i an failing at everything, specifically relationships in my life. My boyfriend doesn't feel like he sees me just the two of us enough because sometimes my attention is divided, my friends feel like they never see me unless i am with said boyfriend. A friend is dating a guy i have issues with, and the more I say the less she hears "i love and care about you!" and hears "You aren't doing things my way so its wrong!". Its a balancing act that i am failing at.

I hope I am not a spectacular failure. But more and more i feel like i am just that.

Sarah Markley spoke a few months ago about how she hopes she is not spectacularly failing. I know where she is coming from. I get how she was letting fear run her life. my nature I want to please people but by nature i also want control. Its not an easy personality to deal with and i don't help make it any easier.

I am afraid of losing control and those I love. But I cannot have both.

These last few weeks have taught me a lot and I only know one place to turn for help. I need to step back and put myself second to the Almighty. I need to step back from loved ones and let them make their own decisions and just be there to pick up the pieces i hope and pray never come. I need to pick up my own pieces before i can help anyone else with theirs. And "I told you so"'s can no longer exist.

May God help me and show me the way. I need surrender myself and give up control. God help me.