Monday, October 4, 2010

I am woman hear me ROAR!

My daddy taught me how.

I am a girl who can take care of herself and does. I take pride in what I know how to do and I want to learn what I cannot. I am overly independent and i like it that way.

I do things my way. For example, last night my roommate was cleaning the bathroom and broke our toilet seat. Today at lunch i went a bought a new one, went home, cleaned the toilet, and proceeded to replace the seat all while in a skirt. I know its a simple and any man (and many women) reading this is rolling his eyes because he knows simple such a task is. But it is still a moment of pride for me.

Being independent and not having to call the boyfriend or father to fix something for me makes me happy. I like to fix and tinker but rarely get the opportunity. I love the opportunity to pull out my tools box, which is NOT PINK, and do things for myself. I can do these things on my own.

But then again I did read the instructions.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Being a big girl...

People always say, be the bigger person, be the adult. Take the high road.

Sometimes I am sick and tired of being the bigger person. I am sick and tired of having to take on more than what I feel I can handle. Sometimes i just want to get down and dirty, make the low blows and not deal with the consequences. And that sometimes is now.

Sadly I was raised knowing that is not acceptable. My conscience won't let me go down that path. I know right from wrong, I know where God stands on the issue and in that knowledge, as hard as it is, I cannot turn my back on Him and do what would feel good for the moment.

Please pray for me as I try to become the person God wants me to be.


Maybe my expectations are too high. Maybe i shouldn't have any and then i wouldn't be let down. Then again, I don't agree with that. I watched a kind of terrible movie a few months ago but the moral was true. We have to have expectations and we are supposed to work on living up to them because if not we ware a lazy society where everything is good enough.

I don't want good enough, I want spectacular.

I need to hope that there is something more and better and that it can be reached. I need to believe that. I need to hope for peace and joy. I need to love more and hold onto less.

I wish it were as easy as it sounds.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

You are worth the Wait

Excerpt from Sarah Markley's blog post today.

Remember today that you cost a lot. In fact, you’ve been anticipated. You’ve been expected and asked for. You have been sought after. Christ gave His life for you and it was very costly. It cost Him everything. But it was worth it.

He has waited for you, tip-toed to watch you and paid all that He had for you.

And because He’s done that, He has given you unspeakable value and worth. He will never be bored with the beauty that is you.

You, my friend, are worth waiting for.

Friday, September 3, 2010

On my own, Even less in control over my life.

So I have moved out of my house and landed a full time position at the job I love! God has given me everything i have asked for in spades. I have been blessed with an amazing love and just as amazing friends. We are all moving though different experiences in our life but we are all there to support each other in the good and bad in our lives. I am lokoing at my relationship with God and knowing I need guidance and instead of just shrugging it off I am taking the initiative to do something about it-this is growth.

Life couldn't get any better. Or could it?
I am fighting with my boyfriend's brother and girlfriend and even if i now know that a resolution will not come until they are ready to deal with us and that the lack of a resolution is not my fault- its hard to let go and let God.
Its hard knowing that there is a situation that needs repair and there is nothing i can do about it - that its not my place to even try. Sometimes all we can do is pray.

As simple as that seems as an answer it is the hardest one to act on. It feels like I are doing nothing when really I am doing everything that is important. It sometimes seems like I don't know where to start or what do ask for or thank Him for. Everything seems a little vague. Maybe sometimes all He wants is us to contemplate this in is presence, to sit there and simply adore all that He is and He had done.

I think i jut need some time with him. Uninterrupted, no time lines. I need to learn to listen.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What am I afraid of?

I am afraid of not being myself. I know that sounds funny but i am afraid that i will change to make someone else's life easier. I try to stand for what i believe in -even when its not the popular answer-but still feel like i have to cave to please those around me.

These last weeks have made me feel like i an failing at everything, specifically relationships in my life. My boyfriend doesn't feel like he sees me just the two of us enough because sometimes my attention is divided, my friends feel like they never see me unless i am with said boyfriend. A friend is dating a guy i have issues with, and the more I say the less she hears "i love and care about you!" and hears "You aren't doing things my way so its wrong!". Its a balancing act that i am failing at.

I hope I am not a spectacular failure. But more and more i feel like i am just that.

Sarah Markley spoke a few months ago about how she hopes she is not spectacularly failing. I know where she is coming from. I get how she was letting fear run her life. my nature I want to please people but by nature i also want control. Its not an easy personality to deal with and i don't help make it any easier.

I am afraid of losing control and those I love. But I cannot have both.

These last few weeks have taught me a lot and I only know one place to turn for help. I need to step back and put myself second to the Almighty. I need to step back from loved ones and let them make their own decisions and just be there to pick up the pieces i hope and pray never come. I need to pick up my own pieces before i can help anyone else with theirs. And "I told you so"'s can no longer exist.

May God help me and show me the way. I need surrender myself and give up control. God help me.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


This blog post is making me hungry.

Let's make tacos this weekend, k?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Well its been a while since i posted anything and that would be because my life has taken a dramatic twist. Okay so its not so dramatic and anyone that knows me will tell you that its was about damn time.

A wonderful, God filled man walked in to my life months ago and took me by surprise. Not exactly who I pictured myself with but it God knows what is best for me-always has, always will

So before Romi went home last night we prayed the rosary and as we were praying I saw the box that has my rosary for Italy in it and I really wanted to show it to him.

This is a rosary that Ash brought me in grade 12 when she went to Italy though school. She is not religious at all but she knew that I was so she found a really pretty blue one in Assisi for me. Its one of my favourite things! Anyways when she gave it to me, I had this idea that since it was blue that at my wedding it would be wrapped in/around my bouquet and would be my something blue at the wedding. (I know I am very funny).

Anyways so I showed him this and told him that this what my plan-the first guy I have ever told this to- and he was like, “that really cool did you know that St. Francis of Assisi is my patron saint?”

The medallion in the rosary is St. Francis of Assisi?!?!?!?! What a God moment!

I think this is adorable and is strangely comforting... God is really
working in/confirming/affirming this relationship and it is a wonderful gift.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Fear freezes us and makes us realize things that we cannot realize when we are rushing around and trying to take control.

One of my very intelligent friends told me that today. Its sometimes the the hardest thing to do is give up control but eventually have to let go and let God.

Jesus I trust in you!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I am just finishing school for graphic arts and it is always exciting to finish a project that was challenging and rewarding all at the same time.

I have recently been working on a project for a non profit organization and had the opportunity to create their logo. It was really cool since my ideas really gelled with what they were looking for.

Anyways... I just looked on their website for some information that i needed for the paper i am writing on the project itself. To my great and joyous surprise, the logo is already up!

Its a great feeling seeing your work out there for everyone to see!

Check it out:

Monday, March 29, 2010

Oh Joseph

Joseph was a man for few words.

In the bible, Joseph is never quoted for having said anything. But he was the man of action. The Angels brought him many of the messages. The Angel told Joseph to take Mary and Jesus and flee to Egypt. Joseph needed to take them to protect them from the impending dangers.

Joseph is the protector of Jesus. He watched over him, cared for him and kept him from harm.

Joseph died before Jesus started his ministry, which ended with his crucifixtion, death and ressurection. Do you really think that Joseph - the man that spent his life protecting Jesus - would have ever watch him die in such a harsh way?

Over Joseph's dead body would Jesus have been on that cross. Maybe that was the whole point?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I and Love and You

"There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved. It is God's finger on man's shoulder." ~ Charles Morgan

This is a brilliant entry. It really breaks down the truth about love... something we rarely hear today.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

It says so much more than words

I am smiling right now, sitting in my jammies and just smiling.

The sound of guitar fills my little room and but it fills my heart too. I love the sound, the energy and joy that is coming from the guitarist. Its a beautiful thing to receive a private acoustic show.

Music can say so much more that you can say in words.

Music belongs to my soul. It nourishes it and is a true gift from God. Look at all the Psalms and the Song of Songs. Look at King David who danced and rejoices in song.

God shows us in a way we can always recognize the amount of love He has for us.

Monday, March 1, 2010

What we wear.

A few weeks ago, I lost a pair of jeans. My favorite pair of "make my butt look nice" jeans. I like them a lot. I went a week without finding them and actually had friends praying to St. Anthony... I was desperate to find them. (and eventually I did).

Anyways in the course of my jeans going missing I realized something about the clothes we wear. They give us a lot of confidence, can change our mood or how you see yourself that day.

You look at yourself differently when you are in something that you feel good in.
This world makes such a big eal out wearing the right thing or hanging the right brands in your closet and I don't like it.
That being said if you are comfortable with WHO you are then what you wear is just packaging.

But it is funny the things that change our moods. Packaging or not, its good to feel beautiful and stop letting that dress sit in the back of your closet or saving that amazing top hat for a special occasion.

Be confident in WHO you are and more importantly THE ONE who put you here and gave me all my curves or you none at all. Let God's love be what people see, not the brand.

Monday, February 22, 2010

The man in my life

The men in our lives are wonderful. All of them in their own ways. We learn something every time they enter and exit out lives. And more often than not that is their purpose in our lives, to teach us something. As my sister would call it, we gush about that one man in our lives, the one that makes us feel special, our heart skip a beat and our palms all sweaty. We talk about it with our girlfriends and even our guy friends.

There is however one man that is often overlooked:


In my life my dad s the only man in the house. He helped to raise three girls, somewhat uncharted territory for a man who had 3 brothers and whose sisters were older than he. We were not tomboys and playing house and babies were our forte. But he did it, he loved us, sacrificed, and worked to have a relationship with us.

One of my favourite memories of the 2 of us is last year after i moved away to go to school and they came up for the weekend to visit and to see the football game. I was putting food that my mom brought me (sixth love language... but that is another story) in the freezer and as i was still half in the freezer, my dad came up behind me and gave me this huge hug! That little simple impulsive gesture showed me how much he cared.

I won't say the three of us - especially me - made it super easy on him, we were hard to get along we in our teenage years. Dad and I hardly ever say eye to eye (just ask him about teaching me to drive-SCARY). Even now we have our differences but I know that he loves me still and I love him. Don't get me wrong, he isn't perfect but neither am I, the only perfect one is God, the Father.

As I embark on a new journey in life, I decided today that I needed to gush about my dad. He is a wonderful man of God and has taught me so much in life. Thank you for always being there.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Only Kelsey...

So i am a constant nerd and embarrassment to myself, and I am okay with that most of the time.

Today I went to the wedding of 2 wonderful friends and the ceremony was beautiful, the bride was radiant and glowing (in the words of her Maid of Honor: "I could tan off of your glow!") The songs choices were so filled and Christ centered. Allyssa was telling Anna and I that Gabe was really active through the whole ceremony! It was a beautiful day. (I am now in love with How Beautiful by Twila Paris-SO GORGEOUS!) It was a small wedding and I was very honored to be invited.

So i met up with friends at the reception and we chit-chatted and kept each other company since we didn't know a lot of the people there. We ate, listened to toasts and watched the couples first dance. It was a wonderful night.

THEN... it came time for the bouquet toss and all of us single ladies got up to try and catch the bouquet. Well when Allyssa throws it, it happens to come in my direction (which is rare) and was a shorter toss so i think i might have a change to catch it.

I reach forward...

and reach a little farther forward...

and fall off of my heels, and right onto the bouquet. Yes I did. I was informed as i got up that it looked like I dove for it but at least it was a graceful fall.

Oh well what can I do, I am me and that is all that I and God can ask of myself.

Love yourself today, in all your embarrassing or nerdy moments and when all is going well in your life. Thank God for those moments too since He is laughing and crying with you too.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Here and Now

This is me... nothing overly special or plain, just me. I am not an accomplished author, singer or designer. Most people have never heard of me and that is fine. I am me and these are my thoughts. I love God and am working on trusting Him with my whole heart. I am me and that is all i can be.

This is a new adventure for me, it may be an epic fail or an epic success. Join me?